~IN MY I HATE U MODE!!!!!~

I HATE U!!! Why out of all the days you pick today to have problems with me. I need you. I want you to need me too. Don't you need me? I NEED YOU!!! I FREAKING NEED YOU!!! You know that you are the only one. I can't replace you!!! There is no one other than you and like you. You've been with me the longest and supposedly understand me more. You hold all my secrets and my memories. This sucks... YOU SUCKS!!!

UUUURRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Baby... I love you but I have to leave you... I guess its over between us.. So sorry.. Sammy.. Time for me to move on and get a new phone... Hmmmmmm... What might it be this time.... Nokia? Sony Ericson? LG? Blackberry? HTC? I-Phone? A whole new world to discover...

~Saodah... Saodah....~

Some people are just born to be envious of others. Kill your green eyed monster will you!!! Why can't one be happy with what they have or whatever they chose. They are the one who made that lifetime decisions. So be a man (or woman) and face the music. Learning from the past is part of life. It's good that you want to share your experience. But can YOU please not be bitter and generalize the whole male species as a problem. Maybe YOU are the problem.

YOU is dedicated to a girl named Saodah (so freaking mad at her that even her alias name is so like that. No offence to all the Saodah in the world.) She just broke up with her long time boyfriend of 5 years and in the past year alone this has been the third break up. Since this is her hat trick, I guess this is would be the final break up(I hope....). All is well in her department because all of her friends are rooting for her new well improve life. We've supported her by making her busy with all the activities and always being there for her but in the end she bite us in the ass. Just because you are single why would you want to influence other people to be like you. Are you looking out for our best interest or are you looking for company to go guy hunting with you. Our days are over for those crap because we are contently happy and fulfilled with our catch. So don't be a b**** and try to ruin our blissful life by poisoning our minds with what jerks guys could be. Your ex-boyfriend is a jerk. That is why he is called an EX. Get it!!!!! So move on and find other single girlfriends for you to go guy hunting with. Just because your love life sucks and you hate guys at the moment, don't freaking disturb and ruin what I have.

GUYS... I know you would be happy to know this. I'm partly on your side on this matter. I know that you can be a jerks. But I can't generalize the whole male species and say that all of you are jerks. That would be saying that all the great guys in my life are jerks. I SO LOVE the male species and don't hate me for it. Hehehehe.... Individualism is key therefore the problem comes from individuals and how they decide with their life and not based on their gender.

On a happy note though.... Yesterday I just celebrated my first anniversary with Hed. I'm so in love.... So don't you dare rain on my parade!!!

B**** Fit!!!!

As you can see from the title that's what i've been having for the past month. Being a Cancer it makes it worst coz as you know.. CANCER have a tendency of having a roller coaster of emotions. What is wrong with me??!!! I hate being like this... I'm better than this.. I'm suppose to be this bubbly girl whom love life as it is and she have no regrets nor will she have the green eyed monster..

But for the past month that's what I've been feeling. I hate this feeling. This is so not me. I don't care what I have and what I don't have or what they're doing or what I'm doing. It usually doesn't matter to me coz I live in the present. Having the green eyed monster therefore I'm regretting what I have. huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... get this out of my system... I miss the old me. The happy me.. The crazy me.. Please please please... I want ME back!!!

To whomever that have to deal with me.. Bear with me please... muahsssssssss... love you...

2009... Here I Come!!!!

Shooiiinnnggggg away 2008.. I welcome 2009 with arms wide open... 2 days have past for 2009 and it have been great(for now). A whole new year for the possibility of life. 2009 means i'll be 25 soon. Oh My God!! I'm half a jubilee.. Kind of freak me out but I hope it will all be good. 25.. I'm suppose to have achieve something but when I think about it.. I haven't achieve much. To make me feel better.. I would like to say that I might be a late bloomer. Hmmmm... That is a good perspective to look at. Melissa Diyana Shaari... The late bloomer of the lot.. Anyway... As they say.. Lets take one day at a time. Your days wouldn't run out on you unless you want it to. Does that make sense to you? Be a shakespeare and intrepret it yourself aite. Haha..Why rush into things and you didn't even get to smell the roses. Oh okay.. I might have spent too much time smelling roses or maybe wasted even some of my times smelling them. But hey..... As I said.. my weak excuse would be the late bloomer thingy. Naaahhhhh.. I want to call it my most perfect reason.. Not excuse... Reason!!! hehe..

Anyway... it was a wonderful beginning of the the new year. I spent new year with my B eating the fruit of our loins... yummmmmyyyyyy.... marinated lamby and my specialties which is potato salad(thanx to ame's recipe). I might not be out partying my hearts out like all of my other friends but somehow this makes it more special. Compared to last year.. I had a blast with my friends. But somehow I felt alone in the relationship department. So this year it was a total turn around. Like Ame said.. at least you spent it with your loved one which is more important. I hope next year I'll win both ways... to celebrate with my friends and my B...

My new year resolution... Like any other resolutions that i've made before.. First and foremost I'd want to reach my target weight so that i can eat rice again. In a few days it will be 1 year since I last eat rice. Wow!! time does fly.. So I would really like it if I could achieve my target weight and start eating rice. How I miss eating fried rice, mummy's chicken rice and strawberry tomyam fired rice. Yuuummmmmmyyyyyyyyyy.. just writing it makes my mouth waters. RICE!!!!! RICE!!!! RICE!!!! Feel like a zombie now... hehe... This year would be a great year for a make over. I have my own trainer which is my B and having your boyfriend as your trainer sucks even more coz he'll push your button to the max. He doesn't say much but he'll do his psycho thingy in the most discreet way as possible. He motivates me by keeping himself in shape. For example, now he is the most boring groccery partner, since he is counting calories and keeeping away from unhealthy food like the snacks department ( which is my favourite department). Going to the gym and if he doesn't, he'll be exercising at home. He became a health freak. HEEELLPPPPPP!!! Since I obviously do not want him to look better than me, I am incline to follow.

The other resolutions is the same old resolutions which you make every year. One needs to have a plan so that life is not wasted. It would be wasted space trying to tell you about ALL my plans( as if you even bother right...). So I won't even try. Its for me to know and you not to find out. Busybody you... hehe...

To all the people in the world... Let's cheers for 2009.. Hope it will be another wonderful year ahead of us. Health, wealth and love... That all one's need.

~An Early Thanksgiving ~

I know it is too early for Thanksgiving but never the less I would like to say thanks because I am so thankful for life. By watching the movie "Freedom Writers" It not only make me a more thankful person, I am even more inspired by the stories. Can't wait to read the book. It must be really interesting reading of others life who have to fight everyday just to get through the next day. We would always say that our life is hard, but with this story now I realize that life is hard. But there are tougher life out there so stop whining and just get through with it like a champion. That's all that we can do... get through with it and make it meaningful and worthwhile.

My life may not be perfect but it is as perfect as it can be. I have a great family whom I love unconditionally and who love me as much and with out them who am I. I have a roof on top of my head and do not have to worry where I am sleeping for the night unlike the homeless like in the movie "The Pursuit of Happiness" That's the security I am given. Thankgoodness... Food is a luxury that my babah gave me. He bought every weird stuff he can get his hands on and shove it down our throat. It might look yucky but at least I know what it tastes like. Some of it tastes great and that is why they say never judge a book by its cover. He'll even go the extra mile to buy a certain food that we want like going to Ipoh to buy us dim sum.. mmmmmmm.... yuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm... Writing this is making me so hungry since it's the fasting month.

The second thing I wanna be thankful of is for having the most wonderful girlfriends... These girls was there for me whenever I need them and at times when I dont need them they're still around. hehehe... I love you girls so much and I guess that is why I am fulfilled. At the time I can sing Pussy Cat Dolls song "I Don't Need A Man" because they are like the boyfriends I never had... I get my heart to heart session with everyone of them with totally different perspective and it feel so good to talk about feelings without feeling guilty about it nor have someone shut you off. Now I know why some girls go the other way but thank god I am still straight. hehe... And without my girlfriends... I won't get to meet the next best thing I'm thankful of which is my B...

After my last relationship i vowed not to be in another relationship for about a year. Guess what they say is right again.. Good things lurk around when you are not looking. I wasn't looking for love but somehow cupid got me. A little lovey dovey but i love it since I am a hopeless romantic. It started because I don't have a date for my prom and my enthusiastic girlfriend had asked him for me without my approval. I was screaming my lungs out when she did that. Can I be anymore pathetic?? To not have a date is pathetic enough but to have your girlfriend set it up for you is just dreadful. What a drag to go to a prom with a stranger. But then again... I fell in love with the stranger and now he is no stranger.

"Brighter Than Sunshine"

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling

Tied up in ancient history
I didnt believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, i don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
And it's brighter than sunshine

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

Thats that then... I am thankful for everything that I have an especially for all the love in my life. One can never grow out of love and it is the most essential thing one needs in life. Ame gave me this quote "the value of love is not how long you've been together, nor how much love have been given or receive, not how many times you've helped each other but on how you value each other". Love you guys so much.... muahsssssssssssssssss....

~a blog... FINALLY!!!!~

I finally have a blog!!! Yeay for me!!! I've wanted 2 have one ever since but was too lazy to sign up for a google account. How can anyone be that lazy u ask? hmmmmm... You wouldn't want to know. Anyway.. Pardon 4 my extreme laziness. My bad..