~ Doodle ~

My blog had a make over as I had just learned how to change the template. Pathetic.. I know.. Before this too lazy to do anything and too stubborn to check it out.

I browsed a lot of template and I ended up with this heartsy template. Even though it kinda feels like its puke worthy but this reminds me of my childhood with Jasmin. I've always watch Jasmin doodle on her paper mindlessly and mind you she is no Picasso but she's creative in her own way. I still remember that she likes to make circle with different colours and I'd pick it up trying to think of what its about.. Kinda like abstract art..

I heart you Jasmin....

~ DisTanCe ~

* Listening to your voice is the second best thing for now since
holding you is out of the question *

~ Memories of 2 Wonderful Women.. ~

Gosh its been such a long time since I read this edit post. Sometimes it feels surreal..
I wrote this post a long time ago but as I had just read a post by Nuraina A Samad of Takziah to her friend's son who just passed then I decided to just post it and get it out of my list of posts.
The post is quite outdated.. Wish I could say the same for the pain though.

This year is quite the opposite of what I had in mind.. Since the year 2010 is in I thought it would be a joyous year for me, my family and B. But tragedy in life had followed. I've lost 2 most important woman in my life whom one I was suppose to have a future with and the other hold my past. I lost Aunty Asnah who is B's mum in December and my dearest grandmother in January. Losing Aunty is totally heart breaking as I didnt get to know her as well as I wanted to and I didn't get to visit her when she was in the hospital since I'm in Pangkor and December was a totally manic month since its the school holidays. Thank god I get to meet my grandma before she passes after Aunty's funeral and I'm happy that God had taken Atuk as she was suffering.

Looking back..
I met Aunty out of false pretences as B had tricked me by stopping at his house before going on our date. The first time he did that I felt like killing him. I mean.. Hello!! its scary ok..
My heart was beating like nobody's business and I felt like I'm gonna faint. So I was in the living room waiting for aunty to come down. I called my bestie and she told me not to panicked and just be myself and try to be casual.
So the moment came!! Suddenly I can see Aunty coming down the stairs wearing her 'baju kelawar' and I stood up so that I can greet her.

Following my bestie's advice.. which is being myself.. I automatically said in my most cheerful voice ( mind you which is quite high-pitched) " Hai Aunty!! " and she just smiled. Huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... I suddenly realize.. Shittttttt.. Ade ke patut cakap Hai.. Cakap ar Asmekum ker.. Sopan r skit.. Dah la casual.. Cheery sangat lak tuh.... Huuuuuwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... Mesti kena strike one.. Giler sedey..

Anyway.. my mum always said that I shouldn't meet my boyfriends family as my mum actually are quite the conservative. But I'm really glad B had tricked me as I got to know her a little bit even if for a short span of time. Her passing hurts and I wish it didn't happen but I guess God knows whats best even if whats best hurts us.

As for looking back and thinking bout the memories of Atuk when I was little... Hahahaha.. Selalu kena sebat or memories of her screaming at me.. I feel sorry for her though as she got a little devil as her grandchild. Mana la orang tua tuh tak marah..

Dekat rumah Aulong, Atuk ade kolah besar which is kind of like a little swimming pool. So one fine day, my aunty's grandma came to our house and talked about mandi bunga since one of my uncle wasn't married yet at the time. I think I was about 7 years old at the time and for a 7 years old girl that sound like a fun thing to do. So I went out and gathered a lot of Atuk's flowers *dah ade point nak kena marah tue* and put it in the 'swimming pool'. Happily I was swimming and playing with the flowers.. Siap scrub diri dengan the flowers and then I heard it.. " Melissa.. Awat duk kat dalam bilik air tuh lama sangat.. Bunyi air nyer takde. Cepat -cepat.. Banyak lagi orang nak mandi nih" So I got out of the pool and gathered all the flowers and took my express shower so that Atuk will hear the sound of water splashing.

So when I'm done I opened up the door to peep whether she's waiting outside and I can see that the line is clear. Got out of the bathroom as fast as I can with flowers in my hand to throw it out before she sees it. Hmmmmmmmm... Yeah Right!!! Suddenly I saw her lurking behind the closet with a furious face. Oppppssssssssss.. and the rest is history. But the good news is that... Since I kind of contaminated the water, Atuk let me play in the pool again with a promise not to ever to that again. Hehehehe.. And I kept that promise.

Nights like this makes me miss her a lot. It doesn't help that I'm listening to Aizat's song Pergi. On a happy note I will always thank God for letting me be with her all this time and not forgeting the time I get to spend with her on her last few weeks before she passes. It was a sad day as both me and ngah2 was crying beside her bed whilst feeding her as I know deep in my heart that this will be the last time and that she'll be taken away from us soon. And He did..

Al-Fatihah

~ Recovering Mode ~

I AM SELFISH!!! SO WATZ UR PROBLEM!!!!

* dedicated to my dearest roomie... bwwwwuuuuueeeeeeekkkkkk*

I know you mean well.. but I'm in my psychotic stage.. huhuhu..
Thanx for trying to keep me sane even if I don't agree with what you have to say...
( kata tengah psychotic.. huhuhu)

~ Bruises.. ~

I hate it when you go away as I had so much fun this weekend.. Wishing that weekends are longer than 2 days.. I hate Sundays the most as I know that is when it ends.. Thats why its called the weekends right... URGHHHHHH..... HATE IT!! HATE IT!! HATE IT!!!

Can't wait for next weekend that I'd get to spend with B.. Even if our date is not the regular date that most couples have. Anything goes as long as I get to spend time with B even if getting a bruised knee is the end result.. not forgetting my sore arms and legs.. Thanks to your new love for paintball..

Re-Run SUX when Hormones Strikes..

Looking at the title it just feel like we're goin through the past over and over again. I suddenly feel very angry bout the ending of Sex & d City. I'm watching the re-run on HBO where she is still with Aiden and cheating on him with STUPID BIG. How Carrie marries Big instead of sweet sweet Aiden. Why can't she move on??? Why does she go back to Big in the end of the story. WHY??!!! URGGGHHHHHH!!! STRESS!! Suddenly I'm thinking that is not the happy ending that I want for Carrie. I want her with somebody new that is sweet like Aiden and as charming as Big. I know love is not logic but still.. Give those who is single to rely and hope on meeting a new guy instead of rewinding back to their past.

NO BEB!!! I'm not thinking bout my past.. Hahaha.. This have nothing to do with it. If it has.. Confirm you'll hear bout it straight away k.. Was just thinking.. how some people don't move on and its sad and pathetic. Guess they didnt get the closure that they needed. Too bad then..

Anyway... blame it on the hormones.. I guess I'm getting psychotic on something other than bout my life. Crazy you say.. Yuppp.. I know..